Tulpa.info - tulpa-questions-2

its easier to stop overthinking about if you're faking when you have a decent conversation

7:26 PM

you just forget about worrying

yeah thats true

I'd disagree for my system at minimum.

yeah it doesnt really matter how you do it, thats just how we figured it out and it might work for others, who knows

7:32 PM

our first switch was before that though and it was me just thinking "hey how about you try doing this", but talking to each other was how we figured out how to do it whenever we want

7:33 PM

i started overthinking a bit after the first switch, and ironically the first one happened when i wasnt thinking about how to do it at all

Sparingly of course, it seems like a rather taxing feat

@Ethereal/Bili || She/Her (@Celestial Horror) - jump it’s obly taxing if you do it the mainstream (ie time wasting) way

? wdym ?

Reading guides and getting overly stressed out with the fabricated complexity of switching.

mm that makes sense

I think we really struggle with it because we don’t know what it’s supposed to “feel” like therefore it’s like. Hard to try and simulate/know if we’re “there”

yeahhh i think that's a problem we have rn

wait you don't know how switch is supposed to feel?

not really , its never really described

do you feel your tulpa spatially?

10:20 PM

as in, do you feel where their thoughts are

i think so ? its a little fuzzy when its not happening in the moment but yeah , they have a sort of presence to them

so let's say you are "in the centre"

10:21 PM

like in the middle of your mind

10:22 PM

surrounded by vision, hearing etc...

10:22 PM

there are your thoughts there too, close to the centre

10:22 PM

your tulpas thoughts are further away from the "centre"

10:22 PM

does it make sense so far?

I’m following

i think so yeah

and you also feel the "presence" of the tulpa, which is away from you

10:24 PM

you can also feel your own presence in similar way - which you might not be aware of because you might have never even noticed it

10:24 PM

your "presence" is in the centre

10:25 PM

so, when you switch, your presence moves further away, and your tulpas is in the centre, and they experience all that you have been experiencing in similar way that you have

10:25 PM

and you start experiencing being in similar way that your tulpa was

Think of a person, think of the feeling you get of just their general ‘vibe’. Not how you feel about them personally. Just their existence as a whole. That’s what a presence is. It’s just that one is in system and the other isn’t (edited)

yeah

10:26 PM

basically you move your presence out, your tulpa moves theirs

10:26 PM

don't ask how to do it, you know how to do it, if you can't do it it means you are overthinking it

mm i think i get it now SkyNod

But where the fuck do I go :V

sometimes i feel like i cant call out to bili , like she isn't there/in the room , but for now im just gonna say that's bc she was. literally created today.

you go where your tulpa was, duh

10:29 PM

it's a switch

10:29 PM

you switch places

Milk

But where the fuck do I go :V

ik that when bili was in front earlier , it felt like i was in the same mental room as her , only sitting on the couch kind of away from the "center" if you will

But where the fuck do I go :V

@Milk - jump just stay out of the way and that's enough

we could still kinda talk to each other bc we were in the same room , just that she was on stage [ive been kind of imagining a stage-like platform in the room that represents fronting]

Soooo it’s not like I’m supposed to really lose any contact with my senses or anything? I feel like that’s maybe a stupid question but I’m asking it anyways (I am stupid)

does your tulpa have contact with your senses?

Yes but not always.

so that happens when you are not switched in

10:35 PM

you experience everything in the way that your tulpa does

10:36 PM

and your tulpa experiences everything like you are right now

Sometimes a tulpa isn’t there at the moment but that doesn’t mean they don’t remember. That can happen to a switched out host to. It doesn’t feel different or anything. It’s the exact same experience it’s just that the roles swapped

10:37 PM

How your tulpa feels when they aren’t active is how you will feel

Hm. Thank you for entertaining my stupid questions. I think that has helped a lot with our understanding of the process. Genuinely

np

mmhm i think it helped us too

10:43 PM

moreso me than bili tho

10:43 PM

i think its cause bili has had a chance to really understand both spots

Celestial Horror

sometimes i feel like i cant call out to bili , like she isn't there/in the room , but for now im just gonna say that's bc she was. literally created today.

this happens to us alot as well, we just say that the headmate is sleeping. for you and bili, it might be her resting since she just got here and its probably alot to deal with?

Yes, sometimes I feel as though I disappear. Not entirely, just in the sense that I don't think I can respond to Aeon when he calls out to me.

11:18 PM

If we think of this space as a house, I could possibly be far away from the room we seem to use for fronting?

11:18 PM

As if I was on a different floor, but I do not think our "wonderland" is that big.

11:18 PM

I hope I used that term correctly

You did

Milk

But where the fuck do I go :V

When our system switches, we basically just close the body's eyes and the person switching out moves their sense of self/awareness outside of the body, to the "headspace" my tulpas normally exist in, and the headmate switching in then moves their sense of self/awareness into the body, and then it's them who opens the body's eyes (edited)

12:25 AM

Getting more specific with the symbolism probably isn't helpful, whatever comes to you naturally will probably work best.

12:25 AM

End result is the host is now equivalent to a tulpa (for the time being) and the tulpa is now equivalent to the host (for the time being)

12:26 AM

Specifics past these vague definitions vary by system

12:27 AM

(You could switch into & out of the wonderland for example, or maybe you don't have a spatial component to your switching at all)

Reisen

When our system switches, we basically just close the body's eyes and the person switching out moves their sense of self/awareness outside of the body, to the "headspace" my tulpas normally exist in, and the headmate switching in then moves their sense of self/awareness into the body, and then it's them who opens the body's eyes (edited)

Does it feel weird and floaty? I feel like I get the “idea” but it’s like. Making the feeling click

Nope, doesn't feel weird at all, and the "feeling clicks" when we open our eyes

I think I probably just need to practice more and not think so hard about it.

We didn't "think hard" about learning switching at all, we just heard that it was a thing and what the result was, and then did what made sense to us to do.

2:13 AM

But, different people will be predisposed to falling into different lines of thinking, the same way some people can start the tulpa creation process super easily (generally because they're very imaginative/creative, and so open minded to that stuff) (edited)

I think the main problem we’re having is second guessing the sensations. Gut reaction is “no this is all in my head—“ which is. Ironic, but does impede progress.

People think too much about switching. It pretty much is ‘just do it lol’

2:18 AM

But it’s hard to understand that until you did it the first time and realize how not complicated it is

I’m definitely starting to get the feeling that’s the case.

a bit late but honestly so far switching has felt very smooth

3:15 AM

kind of like a slow moving mass if that makes sense ? very long blink and youll miss it bili just kinda naturally comes up and i step back

sometimes its slow sometimes its fast yeah

8:36 AM

kinda like crossfading between 2 people

8:37 AM

it gets faster when you get the hang of how to just let go, its easy to accidentally switch back to front as a host at start (edited)

Milk

Soooo it’s not like I’m supposed to really lose any contact with my senses or anything? I feel like that’s maybe a stupid question but I’m asking it anyways (I am stupid)

I think there's a specific mindset that wasn't clearly conveyed to you, hence the confusion. Switching involves three main parts- the host, the tulpa, and the Stream of Consciousness (SOC). The SOC is that feeling of looking through the eyes and feeling alive, having a sensory experience, etc. When people switch, there are three general interpretations of what happens:

The host and tulpa are independent of the SOC, so a switch doesn't lead to any weird vision changes or feelings. The SOC is part of the front

There are two "hosts", the host personality and the SOC. So, when a switch happens, the host (SOC) "bevomes" their tulpa.

The host and tulpa both have their own SOCs, so a switch is the swapping of these. This is the parallel processing interpretation of switches.

Most people tend to belive the former, some the latter, and fewer the third. I don't think any perspective is wrong, but I do believe the third might be more difficult to achieve than the first two, which are really mindset varients of what seems like the same thing.

4:04 PM

=== Wirh the former case, I think it's safe to compare your sense of self to brain software. When you switch out, you get disconnected from the front and the senses, but you don't feel this process because there's nothing being percieved from a feeling perspective (unless you impose a sense of presence). When Gray switched out, he said it felt like becoming a program in the mind. He realized he was not the SOC. We have what I call sensory switching, so I assume I become "attached" to the SOC when I switch in. Thus, our sensory experiences are now mine (edited)

A long kiss goodnight

I think there's a specific mindset that wasn't clearly conveyed to you, hence the confusion. Switching involves three main parts- the host, the tulpa, and the Stream of Consciousness (SOC). The SOC is that feeling of looking through the eyes and feeling alive, having a sensory experience, etc. When people switch, there are three general interpretations of what happens:

The host and tulpa are independent of the SOC, so a switch doesn't lead to any weird vision changes or feelings. The SOC is part of the front

There are two "hosts", the host personality and the SOC. So, when a switch happens, the host (SOC) "bevomes" their tulpa.

The host and tulpa both have their own SOCs, so a switch is the swapping of these. This is the parallel processing interpretation of switches.

Most people tend to belive the former, some the latter, and fewer the third. I don't think any perspective is wrong, but I do believe the third might be more difficult to achieve than the first two, which are really mindset varients of what seems like the same thing.

Ah!! Thank you. Those are very in depth descriptions.

A long kiss goodnight

=== Wirh the former case, I think it's safe to compare your sense of self to brain software. When you switch out, you get disconnected from the front and the senses, but you don't feel this process because there's nothing being percieved from a feeling perspective (unless you impose a sense of presence). When Gray switched out, he said it felt like becoming a program in the mind. He realized he was not the SOC. We have what I call sensory switching, so I assume I become "attached" to the SOC when I switch in. Thus, our sensory experiences are now mine (edited)

So. Follow up question. Me as the host. It’s not like I’m disconnected completely from the SOC right? I think part of why I’m having this problem is because I do experience a lot of depersonalization in my day to day

It's definetly not normal to experience depersonalization while switching. That definetly complicates your situation. I'm sure what the best advice to tell you is. I can speculate what to expect, but that doesn't guarantee it will be right

A long kiss goodnight

It's definetly not normal to experience depersonalization while switching. That definetly complicates your situation. I'm sure what the best advice to tell you is. I can speculate what to expect, but that doesn't guarantee it will be right

It’s not while I’m switching so much as it is just like that almost all the time. There’s a lot of time where I do not feel like I’m in full control of my actions (I have talked to my therapist about this so dw)

I’m sure I can overcome it as an issue with enough work and. Less being in my head about it so much.

So. Follow up question. Me as the host. It’s not like I’m disconnected completely from the SOC right? I think part of why I’m having this problem is because I do experience a lot of depersonalization in my day to day

@Milk - jump do you know what triggers your depersonalisation? you don't need to say what, i just wonder if you are aware

Leiko

So. Follow up question. Me as the host. It’s not like I’m disconnected completely from the SOC right? I think part of why I’m having this problem is because I do experience a lot of depersonalization in my day to day

@Milk - jump do you know what triggers your depersonalisation? you don't need to say what, i just wonder if you are aware

Mm not really. Anxiety probably? I’ve always been a very anxious person, and even though I’m on meds for it I’m still anxious pretty constantly.

well yes depersonalisation is a defense mechanism from anxiety, i meant to ask if you know what triggers that anxiety

KiTkAT( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧

well yes depersonalisation is a defense mechanism from anxiety, i meant to ask if you know what triggers that anxiety

Ah, sorry. But yes I have a lot of things im aware of that trigger my anxiety. Unfortunately a lot of them are not avoidable and are just parts of being an adult.

i see! in my view you can see depersonalisation as "switching out", which would be part of the process in the 1st case described by ranger it is actually something that some people in tulpamancy would like to achieve, having tulpa front and the host just being "switched out" i personally don't think that's a good idea to train towards but since you already depersonalise, i might share some of my thoughts you might notice that your tulpa might have different triggers than you do, meaning that for them it might be easier to not be depersonalised. you might notice that your switching is disrupted by depersonalisation - however i wouldn't pay attention to that too much. i am often depersonalised when i front, but it is still me acting. there is no reason to take that away from yourself. at some point you might notice that there is a dynamic between depersonalisation and switching, so you will see that working on depersonalisation will help you with switching, but also learning to switch can play a part in managing depersonalisation. the only thing you need to remember is to not worry and not work yourself too hard, because that can cause you anxiety that will as you probably expect build more depersonalisation

5:13 PM

also, since depersonalisation is involved, you might also start noticing in your tulpamancy practice some things that would make you worried about being a did/osdd system. again i wouldn't worry about that too much, because exploring that could cause you anxiety and you would spiral down into the symptoms more

5:13 PM

i hope there is something in what i wrote that you will find useful!

Leiko

i hope there is something in what i wrote that you will find useful!

There is a lot that is useful!! Thank you. I appreciate the advice very much!!

i'm glad!

Milk

It’s not while I’m switching so much as it is just like that almost all the time. There’s a lot of time where I do not feel like I’m in full control of my actions (I have talked to my therapist about this so dw)

I would go with An's advice, depersonalization and switching, or depersonalization in general, is out of my wheelhouse

A long kiss goodnight

I would go with An's advice, depersonalization and switching, or depersonalization in general, is out of my wheelhouse

I appreciate your efforts in helping regardless! :)